Antonio!

Ok, this may come a little late considering that we’re 25 days into the new year, but I’d like to have this written down somewhere: this year is going to be different that last year, and the year before that, and the year before that… I think I’ve learned a lot in the last year, what with living on my own and everything else that’s happened in my life since I finished school. With that in mind, there are things i would like to change, mostly about my situation in life but also about myself. This year…

1. I will move. I will leave Ocala and go someplace where I don’t feel like my life has become stagnant

2. I will make new friends. It seems most of my old ones have all moved away, or moved on to other things, leaving me with a feeling of emptiness inside. I will find away to avoid those nights where I sit at home alone because my only two friends are doing something else, like working or ::gasp!:: hanging out with their other friends
3. I will stop trying to please everyone. For the longest time I tried my hardest to keep everyone I knew happy. But now I’m starting to realize that it’s impossible to do that. Sure, I can keep the majority of the people I know happy, but somewhere in there are bound to be people that aren’t happy with something I’ve said or done. So you know what? Tough noogies. If you’ve got a problem with something, deal with it. I’ll apologize if I think I’m wrong, otherwise you’ll just have to learn to cope with it.
4. I will get a new job. Some days I like working at Pier One, and others I work for about five minutes before thinking “what the hell am I doing here?” Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great company to work for and the store that I’m at happens to be an awesome place to work at (near-daily melodrama notwithstanding). But I don’t see myself working as an assistant manager in a retail store for very long; it’s just not me! I’d like to find my “ideal” job — a casual environment with a halfway decent boss and coworkers (read: ones that do not harbor psychotic/delusional thoughts or tendencies). Kind of like where I’m at now, only working in the computer industry so I don’t have to complain about earning pittance when I could be making much more.
5. I will get out of debt. Maybe not entirely, but I will do something about those damned credit cards! At least get them down to the sub-$1000 mark each (at least there’s only two of them!)
6. I will find happiness. Ok, this one’s kind of iffy. I understand that finding true happiness is a lifelong goal, but lately I’ve begun to question the kind of happiness I’ve experienced lately. Well not so much question, it’s more like I’ve realized that the last few years I’ve felt things that are just a part of growing up, and things won’t really be like that again, and I need to find their non-juvenile counterparts. The friends I had last year, the good times I’ve had here in my first apartment; these are all things that people go through as they grow up, and now I’ve got to move on and find things that will make me happy as I enter my 20s. Make any sense?

I think that should just about do it, at least for right now. I really just needed to vent, and dammit there’s no one online and I don’t feel like talking on the phone forever. Any thoughts?

This entry was posted on Saturday, January 25th, 2003 at 10:44 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.